Well... my xbox is being fixed and I should have it back in a few weeks. I never realized how much of a nerd I was until my video gamers were taken away *sigh* lately I have been very aware of gender and gender roles. I don't know where I fall on the gender spectrum  but I have come to notices that the way I look, my body is very petit, my facial features are extremely feminine but on the inside I don't feel like this. As a kid I played with sports I played with lego and I played with everything a normal little boy would play with and only hung out with boys. As a teenager I didn't like wearing dresses or any feminine clothes for that matter. Now as an adult I am a mix of both genders. I have day where I feel like binding and wearing my brothers clothes, and others in which well.... i wouldn't say that I feel like wearing dresses but I like being viewed as a girl. But no matter the way I look on the outside I always feel the same way on the inside. Anyways, thats all I have for now.
 Peace.

frustration

My xbox 360 is done for good. Its so frustrating how crappy everything is put together now a days. I have had my xbox for just over a year so microsoft wants 100$ to fix it. UGH!!! I'm going to sell it to EBgames or Game buzz and spend the money on a new one I guess. That's pretty much it I just wanted to share my frustration with the mythical people that have been checking out my blog.
Peace.

passing.

I have been giving my gender more and more thought lately and the more i think about it the more I''m unsure about it.I don't know any trans people or and gender queer people and I'm really unsure about myself. most days now I am feeling more boyish and feeling that "he" is the pronoun that I want to be refereed to as, but then I log onto facebook or start talking to someone and wonder what they would think when I tell them to start refereeing to me as a boy and i go back to being unsure. I am not sure that even if I were to begin this transition that I would even be able to pass as many of my features and my body itself is unfortunately extremely feminine.
anyways I'm off to bed
peace.

So this is the deal

I was born a female and I still am technically a girl... But I'm not... I'm not a boy and I don't want to start taking "T" or anything but I really don't feel comfortable being a girl eather.... Maybe I'm just a non-op trans guy. Contradicting isn't it? Maybe in a different world where there was more exeptance I would change... But then again some times I feel more female then male. It changes every other week. I haven't met anyone else who has this issue I don't know any mtf or ftms living in Montreal I haven't even told anyone how I feel about my gender which makes going by male pronouns very dificult.(obviously) I hate being gender queer I wish gender was as simple as ones sex. I'm posting this at 1:30am from my itouch knowing that it's not well written or spell checked but will go unread anyways so it doesn't matter anyways. -Sam

my first blog.

This is my first blog.
I'm starting up this blog because I can't sit in front of a camera and talk about myself its to awkward and there are somethings that I want to get off my chest but I'm not ready to tell friends and family yet. I'm hoping this blog will help me get some perspective on my own life and hopefully find some other people who are in the same boat as I am.